Dead Cupid Smartphone Case
Cupid’s history of consistently f*cking up lives makes him the most notorious emotional terrorist in existence. He hopes to strike again this February 14. Your mission: kill him. If this is your mission, this smartphone case will truly express your feelings for that flabby flying baby who enjoys screwing up everyone’s life.$14.99
Bittersweet Dipping Chocolate
Vday is always a bittersweet event. You hate Valentines Day but you love chocolate. On this nauseating day of pink everything and cutesy, lovey dovey, sappy BS, there will be quite enough sweetness flying around everywhere. At your anti-valentine’s day party, satisfy the demand for chocolate with this appropriately bittersweet chocolate dip so you can enjoy the perks of the stupid holiday without having to indulge in the cliche.$24.80
It’s that dreaded holiday again, the one where everyone is sickeningly sweet, in love, and annoying. You are trying to make your statement by boycotting anything and everything Valentines-y. You have to, however, stay hydrated. Don’t let that be a missed opportunity- let your H20 speak for you by drinking water that is black, like your heart and soul. If you’re a true VDay Grinch, you’ll throw a party to hate on Valentine’s Day amongst friends and drinks. Use Blk water in some of your recipes to add appropriate color or just offer black water bottles at the party as your added detail.$52.02
Vodka is my Valentine Flask
You don’t need a boytoy and you don’t need armcandy. You just need a DRINK. Keep your beloved on you at all times in your very own 6 oz flask full of that good stuff while making a statement about how you really feel about this ridiculous holiday honoring all the wrong things. Love? pfff. Relationships. HA. You have a REAL valentine in your life that loves you unconditionally. They might not be much of a morning person, but hey no one’s perfect and your beloved vodka is the closest you will get.$24.50*All Products - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - Valentine's Day Gifts for Him - Eff Valentine's Day! - Drinks - Alcohol & Smoking - BUY IT!
Rude Heart Candy Decals
If you’re making a statement about how much you hate Vday, you’ll need to put a spin on the classic look of Vday with a really rude, sarcastic twist. These Valentine’s-y colored decals look like they’re in the spirit but once you read what each heart has to say, you realize they’re definitely NOT.$5.04
Heart Cut Out Panties
Seduce him (or her) and get in the Valentine’s Day spirit with this sexy little number. Show off your ASSets and deliver the perfect Valentine’s gift in the perfect way.$9.95Sexy Gifts - *All Products - Valentine's Day Gifts - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - Gifts for Women - Women's Accessories - BUY IT!
Cat is my Valentine Tshirt
All you need in this live of sin is you and your cat friend, you and your cat friend. Own it with this “My cat is my valentine” shirt and sh*t on everyone who’s hugged up and being nauseatingly sappy.$13.99*All Products - Valentine's Day Gifts for Him - Eff Valentine's Day! - Gifts for Men - Funny & Gag - BUY IT!
Cat is my Valentine T-Shirt (Her)
Face it, you’re a alone on Valentine’s Day which means you’re doomed to live the life of a crazy cat lady/spinster. F*ck it, own that sh*t! Rock your life status proudly as you walk amongst all these hand-holding, lip-locking, googly-eyed, Notebook-watching lovebirds that make you want to vomit. Who needs romance anyway when you have your tride and true feline friend who’s got your back! Granted, he literally has your back because his claws are dug into that cashmere sweater, but yeah- he’s got it!$19.99*All Products - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - Eff Valentine's Day! - Gifts for Women - Funny & Gag - BUY IT!
Honey Badger VDay Card
You think the honey badger gives a sh*t about Valentine’s Day? He eats cobras, runs into houses full of bees to eat larvae, and decapitates mice, what makes you think the non-sh*t giving creature would start giving one for Valentine’s Day? If the honey badger is your spirit animal, this is the perfect card to give your boo on VDay. Obviously, you, like the honey badger, don’t care. So if you tell your honey boo that you sometimes MIGHT ACTUALLY care…a little…that’s saying alot!$2.95*All Products - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - Valentine's Day Gifts for Him - Eff Valentine's Day! - Funny & Gag - BUY IT!
Grumpy Cat Vday Iphone Case
Grumpy cat had a Valentine once. It was awful, she says. If you, like Grumpy Cat, would rather shield yourself from the impending barrage of heart shaped missiles that might be fired at you on this national holiday honoring love and other forms of foolishness, this iphone case is for you.$3.99*All Products - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - Eff Valentine's Day! - Gifts for Women - Smartphones - BUY IT!
Honey Badger Talking Plush
Forget a boring teddy bear for Valentine’s Day. You think Teddy gives a sh*t about your undying love for your girl/boyfriend? Well he doesn’t and he doesn’t do much more than sit there and collect dust. If you’re going to gift your honey with a plush anima that couldn’t care less about your relationship, might as well be a honey badger that makes you laugh with his rude remarks. The world’s most fearless animal, this guy aint never scared! He has a variety of things to say to you that will leave you offended but tres amused.$41.55
Stupid Cupid shirt
Cupid: A winged, baby-faced deity that flies around shooting random people with his love arrow, making them fall madly in love, regardless of compatibility and financial situations. He never takes into account whether he pairs a perfectly good woman with a bum, a perfectly good, normal, loving man with a psycho girlfriend or a perfectly chill person ridden with baggage and baby mama or baby daddy drama. He’s an a**hole is what he is. A sadistic little bastard that toys with people’s hearts and laughs about it. And yet we give this little flying baby demon a holiday all to his own? F*ck that. Cupid is most definitely STUPID.$14.95