Eff Valentine's Day!
Lush Wine Glass/Bottle
You don’t sip wine like a little girl; you CHUG that sh*t! If Nathan’s hot dog eating contest was wine instead, you’d be the reigning champion each year in a row no matter what! When drinking your red elixir, you have no need of putting your glass down because you keep going. You’re not a quitter. You ain’t neva scared! So DRINK like the bacchanalian you are. OWN your Lushness and chug from a cup that is actually the bottle! 750 ml of the drink made for Dionysus himself. CHEERS! And make sure you’re not driving.$13.52*All Products - Alcohol & Smoking - Drinks - Eff Valentine's Day! - Funny & Gag - Gifts for Women - Home - Jiver Picks - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - BUY IT!
No Love Allowed Sticker
It’s Valentine’s Day and you’re in the thick of it. Couples everywhere, holding their sweaty palms together, staring into each others eyes like zombies, leaving trails of annoying little hearts floating above their stupid heads. It’s national singles’ awareness day and you have had it. STRIKE. BACK. Leave your mark, VDay Grinch- stick these stickers everywhere to remind these nauseating love zombies that not everyone wants to see face sucking everywhere! Better yet, why not throw an anti-Valentine’s Day party for you and all your grinch friends who want nothing more than to see that flying, winged baby come crashing down. Establish your territory with these stickers so your intentions are clear and so every guest has clear instructions as to what type of behavior is and isnt acceptable at your function. EFF Valentines Day!$5.25
DIY Exes Voodoo Doll
That two-timing, gold digging, cocaine sniffing, drunken sloppy whore! That miserable, dirty, no-good, low life, pathetic excuse for a man! You can’t believe you gave them the time of day and you want payback! Well, going after your ex with a sharp object is probably not the best way to go, seeing as there’s that small little detail called a life sentence you’ll most likey have to deal with if you go through with it. If all you can dream about is shoving extremely sharp objects into your ex, here’s your hands clean, murder free way out; the DIY ex voodoo doll kit. A perfect activity for anti-Valentine’s day party- everyone has someone they’d love to turn into a voodoo doll and really stick it to.$9.95
Occupied Heart Beer Glass
If getting fully inebriated on Valentine’s Day sounds like more your figurative cup of tea than a romantic dinner or watching The Notebook (barf) and eating ice cream as you drown yourself in a pathetic pool of your own, lonely tears, this pint glass is SO you. Let creepers and floozies who might try to approach you on that nauseating day (February 14) get your message loud and clear without ever having to stop sipping that delicious liquid gold that is beer. Your heart has no room for love and foolishness because it’s occupied. Doing something way more important than getting caught up in complicated love dilemmas; it’s pumping blood through your body to keep you alive. Isn’t that quite enough?$18.00*All Products - Alcohol & Smoking - Drinks - Eff Valentine's Day! - Gifts for Men - Gifts for Women - Home - BUY IT!
Dead Cupid Smartphone Case
Cupid’s history of consistently f*cking up lives makes him the most notorious emotional terrorist in existence. He hopes to strike again this February 14. Your mission: kill him. If this is your mission, this smartphone case will truly express your feelings for that flabby flying baby who enjoys screwing up everyone’s life.$14.99
Grumpy Cat Valentine’s Plush
Not a fan of Valentine’s Day? Neither is Grumpy Cat. She’s here to express her absolute loathing for the holiday of love. She bears gifts, a heart with her favorite word ever: NO. This is what her answer is to about 90% of everything, actually. A perfect gift for the regular Valentine’s Day hater or grinch.$7.49*All Products - Eff Valentine's Day! - Gifts for Kids - Gifts for Women - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - BUY IT!
Vodka is my Valentine Flask
You don’t need a boytoy and you don’t need armcandy. You just need a DRINK. Keep your beloved on you at all times in your very own 6 oz flask full of that good stuff while making a statement about how you really feel about this ridiculous holiday honoring all the wrong things. Love? pfff. Relationships. HA. You have a REAL valentine in your life that loves you unconditionally. They might not be much of a morning person, but hey no one’s perfect and your beloved vodka is the closest you will get.$24.50*All Products - Alcohol & Smoking - Drinks - Eff Valentine's Day! - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - Valentine's Day Gifts for Him - BUY IT!
Rude Heart Candy Decals
If you’re making a statement about how much you hate Vday, you’ll need to put a spin on the classic look of Vday with a really rude, sarcastic twist. These Valentine’s-y colored decals look like they’re in the spirit but once you read what each heart has to say, you realize they’re definitely NOT.$5.04
Cat is my Valentine Tshirt
All you need in this live of sin is you and your cat friend, you and your cat friend. Own it with this “My cat is my valentine” shirt and sh*t on everyone who’s hugged up and being nauseatingly sappy.$13.99*All Products - Eff Valentine's Day! - Funny & Gag - Gifts for Men - Valentine's Day Gifts for Him - BUY IT!
Cat is my Valentine T-Shirt (Her)
Face it, you’re a alone on Valentine’s Day which means you’re doomed to live the life of a crazy cat lady/spinster. F*ck it, own that sh*t! Rock your life status proudly as you walk amongst all these hand-holding, lip-locking, googly-eyed, Notebook-watching lovebirds that make you want to vomit. Who needs romance anyway when you have your tride and true feline friend who’s got your back! Granted, he literally has your back because his claws are dug into that cashmere sweater, but yeah- he’s got it!$19.99*All Products - Eff Valentine's Day! - Funny & Gag - Gifts for Women - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - BUY IT!
Grumpy Cat Vday Iphone Case
Grumpy cat had a Valentine once. It was awful, she says. If you, like Grumpy Cat, would rather shield yourself from the impending barrage of heart shaped missiles that might be fired at you on this national holiday honoring love and other forms of foolishness, this iphone case is for you.$3.99*All Products - Eff Valentine's Day! - Gifts for Women - Smartphones - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - BUY IT!
Honey Badger Talking Plush
Forget a boring teddy bear for Valentine’s Day. You think Teddy gives a sh*t about your undying love for your girl/boyfriend? Well he doesn’t and he doesn’t do much more than sit there and collect dust. If you’re going to gift your honey with a plush anima that couldn’t care less about your relationship, might as well be a honey badger that makes you laugh with his rude remarks. The world’s most fearless animal, this guy aint never scared! He has a variety of things to say to you that will leave you offended but tres amused.$41.55