Eff Valentine's Day!
Lush Wine Glass/Bottle
You don’t sip wine like a little girl; you CHUG that sh*t! If Nathan’s hot dog eating contest was wine instead, you’d be the reigning champion each year in a row no matter what! When drinking your red elixir, you have no need of putting your glass down because you keep going. You’re not a quitter. You ain’t neva scared! So DRINK like the bacchanalian you are. OWN your Lushness and chug from a cup that is actually the bottle! 750 ml of the drink made for Dionysus himself. CHEERS! And make sure you’re not driving.$13.52*All Products - Alcohol & Smoking - Drinks - Eff Valentine's Day! - Funny & Gag - Gifts for Women - Home - Jiver Picks - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - BUY IT!
No Love Allowed Sticker
It’s Valentine’s Day and you’re in the thick of it. Couples everywhere, holding their sweaty palms together, staring into each others eyes like zombies, leaving trails of annoying little hearts floating above their stupid heads. It’s national singles’ awareness day and you have had it. STRIKE. BACK. Leave your mark, VDay Grinch- stick these stickers everywhere to remind these nauseating love zombies that not everyone wants to see face sucking everywhere! Better yet, why not throw an anti-Valentine’s Day party for you and all your grinch friends who want nothing more than to see that flying, winged baby come crashing down. Establish your territory with these stickers so your intentions are clear and so every guest has clear instructions as to what type of behavior is and isnt acceptable at your function. EFF Valentines Day!$5.25
DIY Exes Voodoo Doll
That two-timing, gold digging, cocaine sniffing, drunken sloppy whore! That miserable, dirty, no-good, low life, pathetic excuse for a man! You can’t believe you gave them the time of day and you want payback! Well, going after your ex with a sharp object is probably not the best way to go, seeing as there’s that small little detail called a life sentence you’ll most likey have to deal with if you go through with it. If all you can dream about is shoving extremely sharp objects into your ex, here’s your hands clean, murder free way out; the DIY ex voodoo doll kit. A perfect activity for anti-Valentine’s day party- everyone has someone they’d love to turn into a voodoo doll and really stick it to.$9.95
Occupied Heart Beer Glass
If getting fully inebriated on Valentine’s Day sounds like more your figurative cup of tea than a romantic dinner or watching The Notebook (barf) and eating ice cream as you drown yourself in a pathetic pool of your own, lonely tears, this pint glass is SO you. Let creepers and floozies who might try to approach you on that nauseating day (February 14) get your message loud and clear without ever having to stop sipping that delicious liquid gold that is beer. Your heart has no room for love and foolishness because it’s occupied. Doing something way more important than getting caught up in complicated love dilemmas; it’s pumping blood through your body to keep you alive. Isn’t that quite enough?$18.00*All Products - Alcohol & Smoking - Drinks - Eff Valentine's Day! - Gifts for Men - Gifts for Women - Home - BUY IT!
Dead Cupid Smartphone Case
Cupid’s history of consistently f*cking up lives makes him the most notorious emotional terrorist in existence. He hopes to strike again this February 14. Your mission: kill him. If this is your mission, this smartphone case will truly express your feelings for that flabby flying baby who enjoys screwing up everyone’s life.$14.99
Grumpy Cat Valentine’s Plush
Not a fan of Valentine’s Day? Neither is Grumpy Cat. She’s here to express her absolute loathing for the holiday of love. She bears gifts, a heart with her favorite word ever: NO. This is what her answer is to about 90% of everything, actually. A perfect gift for the regular Valentine’s Day hater or grinch.$7.49*All Products - Eff Valentine's Day! - Gifts for Kids - Gifts for Women - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - BUY IT!
Bittersweet Dipping Chocolate
Vday is always a bittersweet event. You hate Valentines Day but you love chocolate. On this nauseating day of pink everything and cutesy, lovey dovey, sappy BS, there will be quite enough sweetness flying around everywhere. At your anti-valentine’s day party, satisfy the demand for chocolate with this appropriately bittersweet chocolate dip so you can enjoy the perks of the stupid holiday without having to indulge in the cliche.$24.80
Stupid Cupid shirt
Cupid: A winged, baby-faced deity that flies around shooting random people with his love arrow, making them fall madly in love, regardless of compatibility and financial situations. He never takes into account whether he pairs a perfectly good woman with a bum, a perfectly good, normal, loving man with a psycho girlfriend or a perfectly chill person ridden with baggage and baby mama or baby daddy drama. He’s an a**hole is what he is. A sadistic little bastard that toys with people’s hearts and laughs about it. And yet we give this little flying baby demon a holiday all to his own? F*ck that. Cupid is most definitely STUPID.$14.95
Love Sucks Wristband
Tell ’em how you really feel and wear it with pride. These Love Sucks and Cupid is Stupid wristbands are a perfect party favor for anti-valentine’s day functions and for anyone who wouldn’t be caught dead rocking red or pink on that dreadful day, February 14.$1.49*All Products - Eff Valentine's Day! - Funny & Gag - Gifts for Kids - Gifts for Men - Gifts for Women - BUY IT!
Screw Valentine’s Day Pinata
If Valentine’s day hasn’t exactly been good to you over the years, stop pretending! Whether you’re single, divorced, or in a relationship but have a bone to pick with all the crap you went through before, this piata will let you get all of that pent up frustration out and let you have fun with friends at the same time. Just aim, visualize that jerk’s face there, and swing!$17.00
Honey Badger VDay Card
You think the honey badger gives a sh*t about Valentine’s Day? He eats cobras, runs into houses full of bees to eat larvae, and decapitates mice, what makes you think the non-sh*t giving creature would start giving one for Valentine’s Day? If the honey badger is your spirit animal, this is the perfect card to give your boo on VDay. Obviously, you, like the honey badger, don’t care. So if you tell your honey boo that you sometimes MIGHT ACTUALLY care…a little…that’s saying alot!$2.95*All Products - Eff Valentine's Day! - Funny & Gag - Valentine's Day Gifts for Her - Valentine's Day Gifts for Him - BUY IT!
Black Like Your Heart Roses
On Valentine’s Days, we wear black; that’s your motto. Who cares or wants to see couples running around kissing and leaving trails of heart bubbles everywhere, birds chirping love songs and spreading that toxic fume in the air known as love? Bleghh. Barf. Instead of being an innocent bystanding victim of all this stomach curdling affection floating around, do something. Create your own counter celebration. These roses that are black like your soul make for perfect gifts or decorations at your Screw Valentine’s Day or VDay Sucks! celebration.$11.99