Ring for Sex Bell
She (or he, but most likely she) writes all these nice things about giving you what you want in that V-day card. She gives you a sexual favor booklet and TELLS you what you want to hear when that famous lover’s holiday rolls around. A few weeks after? It’s all in the trash and you’re back to your barren, sexless life as roommates that call each other a couple. Give her something she can’t throw away or forget, something that will ring true no matter how many days go by. The RING FOR SEX bell. She might be studying, cooking, watching TV, talking on the phone but damnit, when you ring that bell- that ass is yours and she knows it. Happy Valentine’s Day, guys.